


lucid dreams

by matchamin



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Peter Pan Fusion, Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Alternate Universe - World War II, Multiple Worlds/Universes, Neverland (Peter Pan), Other, Space Pirates, The Blitz, The Lost Boys (Peter Pan), Time is an Illusion, changmin is basically peter but has no memories, essentially, his dark materials-esque, i can't tag so thats enough of that, jacob is kind of rufio from hook, juyeon is a pirate tho rip, loosely based on peter pan/hook/pan, most of them are lost boyz, the lost boyz v. industrialisation and pirates, theres sky ships/airships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchamin/pseuds/matchamin
Summary: london, 1942. during the height of the second world war, the blitz has left the city in ruin. changmin is an orphan living in an orphanage on great ormond street. after an air raid destroys the building, he escapes hoping to survive alone in the big city. amongst the dust, charcoal and endless churning of this machine driven, smoke ridden city, he finds magic and many worlds beyond our own.what changmin comes to discover is that these worlds are far more familiar than they first appear. he discovers he had fallen through the cracks of time and space. the fall had cost him his memories. he forgot he was the boy who never grew up. the boy who flew the skies without the aid of a sky ship. a boy who had magic rooted in his bones and deep within his soul.some memories we cannot recover, but perhaps there are ways to find ourselves again; what we once were and who we once loved are planted deep within us. uncovering them needs gentle hands and loving thoughts, but that’s not easy when your young forever and can’t quite grasp the weight of your own existence. finding oneself in others, finding a home and a place to belong, perhaps this enough is for one lifetime of forever.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	1. prelude: the castle in the sky

smoke plumes often coat the sky in a thick haze that blocks out the sunlight. babies often cough and splutter their first words out, spend a short life inhaling the toxic fumes before their time is cut short at 26 when love is a fresh thought and death feels like a distant path. _london _is smog, charcoal, metal and soot. automobiles block up the dirt roads between townhouses and factories and workhouses. buildings seem to fall into one another, as if there isn’t quite enough space. the city is built outward and upward, reaching up into the airways of the airships (cargo, passenger, inter-planetary, realm jumpers, pirates). the skies are often filled with travellers and workers. the people below, those with little money and prospect, look up to the skies through the smoke from the bustling streets and imagine a place without fumes. this city never sleeps, it churns away destroying the people within it.__

__there are stories about worlds beyond our own. places far away from mundane things, full of magic and wonder. some speak of a castle in the sky. a secret island, where time moves differently; stopping, starting and jumping around. there are magical creatures, glistening blue waters, green forests bursting with bright colourful blooms. it is a place of youth; those who find themselves on this magic island have young hearts, young souls, young faces. their lives are not cut short by toxic air or dangerous labour. they dance bare foot in the trees with the pharies and the nymphs. they swim in the waters with the mermaids. many find themselves there by accident. perhaps they got lost in the skies, fell between realms, or were carried there by magical forces. but they are not as lost as many assume them to be._ _

__there is a story, about a boy. the first boy to get lost, only to find a castle in the sky and a forever home._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi!!  
> twt: @matchamiin


	2. city of eternal smoke and empty dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _it is much less often than we think that terrible things come to pass. tragedy and pain may enter our lives at various points, but they are not always as catastrophic as we may anticipate. eventually, we may recover and move on from misfortune. but, sadly, things can come crashing into our path and wake us from hazy dreams pulling us back to earth. such tragedies can make us far more careful than we used to be, much less ambitious and hopeful._

the night here is no quieter than the day. machines still rumble on sending billowing smoke up into the skies until the moon is no longer visible. nights are also the darkest. people work by a single lamplight. all the buildings sit in pitch black, even if there is life moving within them. the war means that small, military airships from the enemy descend on the city in the middle of the night dropping bombs blindly into darkness. leaving the lights off is the small hope that they will be safe should the enemy attack.

 _london_ is home to many people crammed together in a small space. there is an alarmingly uneven distribution of wealth, with workhouses just a few streets down from the grand townhouses. the only similarity between such streets is the constant layer of dust that coats the windows, doors and walls leaving crisp white townhouses tainted with dirt.

the orphanage sits crammed between steel factories and workhouses. from the upper floor windows, where the panes are tainted with black soot and dirt, the young children are left to gaze upon their own fate. poor, homeless and without parents, the orphans of _london_ are destined to be sent from the orphanage at 18 to the workhouses and factories to do dangerous work with little to no gold in exchange for their labours. it’s a cruel, heartless city that traps its citizens in their classes and works them to death if they are not already poisoned by the toxic fumes.

this fate is what awaited the young boy, from the fifth floor with a bed nearest the window. despite such a tragic life that lay ahead of him, the boy was not discouraged by this soul-destroying world. he had a charm that was rare even in young toddlers. he was a dreamer. from his bed, he would sit and stare out of the window, looking beyond the towering buildings and smog of the city and up into the heavens. he swore he saw stars beyond the hazy air that hung over the city on most days. even when the matrons called for lights out and the candles would be blown out and curtains drawn tight shut, changmin would slip from under his blanket and peep his head under the curtain to search for stars. it wasn’t easy, even in the pitch black of night and darkness that fell upon the city to avoid enemy detection, the moon and her stars often lay hidden under the never-ending smoke plumes. but changmin was determined, and never gave up hope he would find a flickering light piercing through the polluted skies of _london._

what was special about changmin wasn’t just that he was a dreamer. the circumstances of how he found himself at great ormond street are well know in the orphanage for their peculiar nature. he had been found, two years previously, lying amongst the shrubbery in hyde park covered in bruises and so cold many assumed he was dead. when he awoke in the hospital, filled with panic and disarray, he had confessed he knew nothing but his name. it was like he had sprung up out of the ground just days before and his life was only just beginning. what a shame he ended up in _london._ what a shame he will grow old and one day will no longer peak around the curtain to look for stars.

when changmin first arrived at great ormond street from the hospital, the other boys would only stare at him from afar and whisper quietly to each other before turning their backs and ignoring him. he very much believed he would be alone whilst trapped in this strange place. one day, as he sat beside his bed rather than on it as an attempt to remain out of sight, he noticed some feet approaching him. they were a little hesitant at first but soon came to place themselves right before him. the boy had crouched until he was face to face with changmin. hidden from the rest of the dorm, changmin was faced with the first person he had ever met – or at least remembered meeting – that gave him attention as if they really wanted to know him. the boy was his height, but seemed much younger. there was no way to tell for sure, though, as changmin’s age was lost with all his memories. hwall had been at great ormond street since he was 8. he said, by then, he was too old to become an orphan.

_i just remember them…so well. i feel their absence from my life. i know there is something missing from me. it makes my chest hurt when we turn the lights out. and i know i am always going to feel this emptiness. sometimes i wish i was like you. that i remembered nothing. is that awful of me?_

_it is not awful of you, but i still feel empty some days. so you wouldn’t be rid of it fully. i just don’t remember what it is i’m missing. i don’t know what it is i’ve lost._

_oh, i didn’t think of it that way. it must be difficult for you too. i’m sorry._

_don’t be sorry. it’s hard for us both but at least we aren’t alone now._ changmin smiled. he had a very bright smile, full of life and love and excitement. hwall smiled back, a slightly smaller, shyer smile.

the two boys had spent the following two years in each other’s company dreaming of escaping, running and running until they left the city behind for clean air and forests. changmin promised he would take hwall wherever he went and then he wouldn’t let either of them become trapped in the workhouses of _london._

promises made with good intentions can still be broken, and it can hurt just as much as betrayal.

most nights, more often than not, the air raid siren would pierce through the eerie night-time causing fear to seep into the hearts of the young orphans who would scramble from their beds and hide underneath them. the orphans don’t get bunkers, they simply pray the bombs miss the building and the enemy disperses and morning comes.

it is much less often than we think that terrible things come to pass. tragedy and pain may enter our lives at various points, but they are not always as catastrophic as we may anticipate. eventually, we may recover and move on from misfortune. but, sadly, things can come crashing into our path and wake us from hazy dreams pulling us back to earth. such tragedies can make us far more careful than we used to be, much less ambitious and hopeful.

even on the coldest of nights, _london_ often has an uncomfortable heat that lingers in the air that often makes you feel as though you have a fever and send your thoughts swirling around your mind. on one of these particularly cold, humid nights, changmin and hwall had sat by the window near changmins bed as they often did and huddled close in the strange night chill. changmin had felt a buzzing in his chest all day, one that had him bouncing on the tip of his toes and feeling as though if he ran and ran and ran he would eventually take off and fly high above the city and far far away. he boiled it down to pure excitement and adrenaline.

 _i think we should run away tonight,_ changmin tried to whisper but the excitement that had him practically vibrating made his voice much louder than he intended.

hwall’s eyes grew wide at the suddenness of the idea, but he also began to smile because yes of course he wanted to run away, but where would they go? surely they would be caught by the authorities or policemen and brought back to the orphanage, or worse taken straight to the workhouses. the streets were dangerous places for young children and it wasn’t just the policemen and rich people who grabbed them by the scruff of their necks and dragged them to police stations, their were rumours of thieves who took children away in the night and they were never seen again. many said they were dragged between realms or sold to pirates who flew the skies and beyond.

 _that doesn’t sound so bad,_ changmin’s gaze wondered up to the ceiling with a strangely fond look on his face at the idea of pirates and danger. _it would be like an adventure._

 _i think you and i have very different ideas about what pirates are,_ hwall huffed and crossed his arms. 

_i’m not scared of pirates, so i can protect you._ changmin held out his hand to the younger boy. another broken promise left his fingertips.

lights out pulled the two boys apart as hwall trudged between beds that sat in rows across the fifth floor of the building. the room fell to darkness and changmin lay his head on the pillow, eyes fixed on the ceiling with his heart racing and head buzzing. it felt like something otherworldly was coursing through his veins. a magnetic pull that urged him away from this place, out of this city and this bed with an itchy blanket. there was something beyond this world, beyond this realm, that called to him. 

**

changmin was dragged from a light sleep by a deep rumbling that shook his bed frame. the siren soon pierced through the night to warn of the enemy’s approach and the young orphans clambered to their knees and slid under their beds as they did on many nights during this endless war. the sounds of air ships and bombers grew louder and louder making the window panes vibrate. the sound travelled across the wooden floor and through changmin’s fingertips. he closed his eyes tight trying to breath through the adrenaline rush that teetered on the edge of panic. that’s when the first bomb dropped, just two streets away from the orphanage. the closest a bomb had hit in almost three months. a panic began to spread through the boys following the loud bang, but they all stayed frozen under their beds hugging themselves as tightly as possible. through the rumbling and wailing siren, some began to yelp or scream or cry out from fear.  
changmin swallowed, throat a little dry with such a close encounter with the enemy. but he was not afraid.

another explosion, much closer. the same street. the orange of enormous flames lit up the windows in a violent light. more screams as the boys began to scramble up and run away; towards the doors and down the corridors to find the matrons or someone to look after them. they are only children after all.

 _changmin!_ a yelp came through the screams and the sounds of the attack as changmin slowly pulled himself from under the bed. hwall yelped from across the room and pushed past the panicked orphans. changmin rose to his feet. _changmin we have to go! we have to get out of here!_

_hwa-_

at first, the explosion was loud. a boom that ripped through the room and drowned out the screams, cries, screeching siren and rumbling air ships. it was so loud, it felt like changmin’s ear drums had exploded as he was thrown backwards against the wall by his bed. white noise. it hissed in his ear as the heat from the flames licked against his bare skin and made him scream. he was sure he had screamed. he was sure he had yelped until his lungs had burst, a cry out for the pains in his chest and his leg and the way his skin burnt. but he heard nothing.

**

when the dawn broke, the orphanage was in ruin. a gaping whole left rubble spilling out onto the street. fire engines and the air brigade filled the streets along with policemen searching the rubble for survivors. when changmin awoke he had been squished against the wall by where is bed had been. he could feel dried blood on the side of his face. his body was aching and though moving caused him pain, he was not trapped under any rubble. in a panic, he scrambled to his feet causing his vision to white out and head to start spinning. he clutched his stomach and lent on what was left of the wall. the hazy morning sunlight covered the ruin in an eerie light. changmin’s eyes darted across the rubble to look for the other orphans, but there was no movement. he peered out onto the street and saw a few hundred young boys huddled on the street covered in smoke, white dust and dried blood. he watched as their names were taken by police, and men from the local workhouses came forward to take a few dozen boys with them. this was it. with no orphanage, nowhere else to go, they would be carted off to workhouses. they would be told that they would not have to work as much because they were only children and that this was to give them a bed to sleep in and a roof over their heads, but once the authorities turned a blind eye they would be on the factory floors dawn till dusk. changmin shook his head. this wasn’t fair, this wasn’t what he planned or what he wanted. he was supposed to run away, leave this city and the smoke behind for adventure. hwall was supposed to come with him. hwall. panic rose in changmin’s chest as he desperately looked through the huddle for his friend. 

_no no please, where are you!_ changmin whispered sinking to his knees, eyes fixed on the boys as the huddle grew smaller. changmin could hear voices coming closer. they couldn’t find him. they weren’t going to take him away like this. he crouched fully, eyes on the orphans below and ears listening for people approaching.

from the adjoining building where they had set up first aid for those injured in the bombings on the street, a small group of five boys emerged in bandages led by a nurse to join the orphans awaiting their assignment to factories. changmin leaned forward being careful not to be seen by those below. he gasped. there amongst them, a sling over his shoulder, was hwall. his head hung low and eyes looked puffy and red from crying. he doesn’t know, changmin thought. he doesn’t know i'm alive. he swallowed, adrenaline snaking through him. he wanted to run down and scream: i'm alive i'm alive! he wanted to run and hug the boy and say, we’re alive we made it! i'm so happy you’re okay! but he couldn’t. if he did, he’d be taken away. he just couldn’t do it. 

when you’re young, your feelings can be confusing. to feel more than one thing at once, conflicting emotions, can stir up frustration and anger. changmin loved hwall very much. he was his best and only friend in the whole world. he cared about him and knew he would die for him in an instant. brave thoughts for someone so young. but he was so desperate to leave. desperate to run away from this place that he wasn’t sure he could stay, even for his friend. how could he leave his friend behind, who he loves so much? was it not selfish? when you’re young, many actions and thoughts are often deemed selfish by adults who believe: you must share and think of others, you must do what is right. 

_i’m sorry,_ changmin whispered. his eyes stung with tears as he trembled. _i’m sorry but i can’t stay._

changmin turned away from his friend and clambered over the rubble of what was once the fifth floor of great ormond street orphanage. he disappeared into the now dark and collapsing hallways. he moved in the opposite direction of the voices that searched the wreckage. he moved quickly and quietly, tears gently slipping down his cheeks. he slipped away, out the back clambering over the walls that remained. he scurried through the back alleys and away from the orphanage and into the city. the further he got, the faster he ran. the further the got, the less guilty he felt. perhaps, the further he got, the more he would forget and eventually the boy from the fifth floor would barely be a memory, more of a faded dream. 

though changmin tried very hard, he could not remove hwall from his mind. perhaps his actions were self-serving. perhaps he should’ve stayed to try and save his friend from the fate of a life in the metal works or the mines. but changmin was just a boy, and though he loved his friend he needed to do what was best for him. he would rather die than be confined to the workhouses of _london._ perhaps it was selfish to leave, but this action saved his own life and also sparked the beginning of a great adventure. one the young boy could not possibly imagine. an adventure beyond this realm where he would come to find magic, a real home and himself along the way.


End file.
